Are we protecting our children too much?

Independent activity refers to the time children spend playing, exploring, travelling or contributing without direct adult control. It includes things like playing outside with other children, walking or cycling locally, managing small responsibilities, or simply having space to direct their own time.

For much of the last century, this kind of independence was a normal part of childhood. Children spent large amounts of time with peers, moved around their neighbourhoods freely and gradually took on real responsibility from a young age. Research shows that this has changed significantly over the past few decades.

Children today have far less freedom to roam, play and act independently than previous generations. Their time is more structured, more supervised and more centred around adult-led environments, particularly school. At the same time, rates of anxiety, depression and emotional distress in young people have increased sharply. The argument put forward by some psychologists is not that this is coincidence, but that the two trends are closely linked. Independent activity is not just something children enjoy. It plays a central role in how they develop confidence, resilience and a sense of control over their lives. When those opportunities decline, something important is lost.

Risks of reduced independence in childhood

The research points to a consistent pattern: as opportunities for independent activity decrease, risks to children’s mental wellbeing increase. This does not come from a single cause, but from a gradual shift in how childhood is structured.

• Less opportunity to build a sense of control
  When children make decisions, solve problems and manage situations on their own, they develop what psychologists call an internal locus of control, the belief that they can influence what happens to them. When most decisions are made for them, this belief is weaker, and they may feel less capable of handling challenges.
• Reduced confidence in managing real-life situations
  Independent activity gives children repeated, low-stakes practice in navigating the world, from resolving disagreements to finding their way somewhere new. Without these experiences, everyday situations can feel more overwhelming.
• Lower resilience to stress and setbacks
  Small risks and manageable challenges — climbing, exploring, negotiating rules in play, help children learn how to cope with uncertainty and discomfort. When these experiences are limited, coping skills can develop more slowly.
• Decreased immediate wellbeing and happiness
  Research consistently shows that children report the highest levels of happiness during self-directed play, especially when it takes place away from adult control. When play becomes structured or supervised, it often becomes less engaging and less satisfying.
• Fewer opportunities for social development
  Independent play allows children to form friendships, negotiate, collaborate and manage conflict without adult intervention. These are complex social skills that are difficult to learn when adults are consistently directing or overseeing interactions.
• Increased pressure from structured environments
  As independent time has declined, time spent in school and school-related work has increased. Children today spend more hours in structured, performance-driven environments, which many report as a significant source of stress.
• Higher levels of anxiety and depression over time
  Long-term data shows a steady increase in anxiety, depression and related mental health difficulties in young people over several decades. While multiple factors are involved, reduced independence is considered a significant contributing factor.
• Loss of meaningful contribution and responsibility
  In earlier generations, children were more likely to contribute to family and community life in practical ways. These experiences helped build competence and a sense of being needed. When children have fewer chances to contribute, that sense of purpose can be reduced.

Finding the balance: protecting children while allowing independence

The solution is not to remove structure or support altogether. Children need guidance, safety and care. The challenge is to ensure that protection does not come at the cost of development.

Independent activity supports three key psychological needs: autonomy (feeling able to make choices), competence (feeling capable), and relatedness (feeling connected to others). When these needs are met, children are more likely to feel confident, motivated and emotionally well.

A more balanced approach involves gradually increasing a child’s freedom in ways that are appropriate to their age, maturity and environment. This might include allowing more unstructured play, encouraging independent problem-solving, or giving children meaningful responsibilities within the family or community.

It also involves recognising that some level of risk and discomfort is not only unavoidable, but necessary. Children learn through experience — by trying, adjusting and sometimes getting things wrong. These experiences build the skills they need to manage a more complex and unpredictable world as they grow older.

For many parents, this shift can feel uncomfortable. Concerns about safety, judgement from others and wider social expectations all play a role. But the evidence suggests that when children are trusted with increasing independence, they do not become less safe or capable — they become more so.

The decline in children’s independence has not happened because parents care less. It has happened, in many ways, because they care more. The task now is not to step back completely, but to reconsider how that care is expressed — so that children are not only protected, but prepared.