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Crafting the ‘perfect Christmas’ for our families can often come with a lot of high expectations. There is the pressure to create magical memories while keeping routines, managing chocolate fuelled meltdowns, cooking a meal that Jamie Oliver would be impressed by, and somehow also enjoying yourself. So let me introduce ‘the Good Enough Christmas’.
Inspired by Donald Winnicott’s idea that children don’t need perfect parents, just good enough ones, here are a few tips for carrying this ideology into the festive season. Your children don’t need a perfect Christmas. They need a present and sane you, so here are some tips to lower the festive guilt.
Fewer Gifts
Children do better with fewer toys, not piles of plastic toys that a mumfluencer on TikTok said were essential for their ‘neural development’. Aim for meaningful, not mountainous. Save some money and lean into the “something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read” idea.
Good enough = thoughtful, not excessive.
Traditions Beat Instagram Perfect Ones
Children remember family traditions more than curated picture perfect decorations. Don’t overdo it though, and isntead focus on those that are simple and low cost such as:
- Decorating the tree together
- A Christmas Eve walk to look at lights and “listen for sleigh bells.”
- Hot chocolate and a Christmas story
- Christmas carolling for your neighbours
- Making a homemade (and likely wonky) ornament
Good enough = meaningful, not photogenic.
Routines Keep Everyone Sane
We all know small children are powered by routine. Whilst it’s certainly a challenge during the holidays, do your best to keep sleep and meal times as close to normal as possible.
When things go off track, bring in tiny anchors of normality:
- A well loved bedtime book
- Five minutes of cuddle time
Good enough = imperfect rhythms, not rigid schedules.
Festive overload … Very Normal
Holiday overstimulation is a real thing, even for adults. For kids? It’s a sensory minefield of twinkly lights, noise, visitors, sugar, and excitement.
So yes:
Your child might cry because they don’t like the present that they asked for
They might refuse Granny’s lovingly prepared food.
They might have a meltdown because the wrapping paper tore “wrong.”
Good enough parenting here means:
- Allowing space for big feelings and offering comfort and co-regulation
- Reminding yourself that this is developmental, not personal
- Having a breather when you need it
Good enough = responsive, not perfect.
A “Good enough” Christmas Dinner Still Counts
If the turkey is dry, the gravy is lumpy, the potatoes are late, or you serve dinner on trays, you have still fed your children.
The memory your children have won’t be “that year Mum forgot cranberry sauce.”
It’ll be the laughter, the mess and being together.
Good enough = fed and happy (ish), not faultless.
Lower your expectations
You don’t need to create every moment of Christmas magic single handedly.
You don’t need to host like a Michelin starred elf.
You don’t need to produce cinematic moments.
Small children don’t measure Christmas in perfection, they measure it in:
- warmth
- safety
- play
- time with you
- Family traditions that repeat year after year
Your presence is the magic, not the matching napkins. Good enough = HUMAN, not superhuman.
In summary
If Christmas is overwhelming for adults, imagine how it feels inside a toddler’s nervous system. The greatest gift you can give your child is not More Stuff, but a (somewhat) regulated, emotionally available version of you. And the greatest gift you can give yourself? Permission to be “good enough.” So let the tinsel fall where it may. Serve the slightly burnt cookies. Lower the bar and laugh when things go wrong. And remember…A Good Enough Christmas is more than enough.
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